Thursday, November 21, 2013

God is Love, Not a Substitute for a Mate

The older we get as singles, the more we are reminded of our single status. It can be especially hard if you're pushing 40 and still haven't tied the knot. 

My Story About Churches Teachings on Singlehood

Churches I belonged to reinforced wrong parental attitudes. After hearing teachings about how I was supposed to "have it all together" before marriage, I felt like I wasn't good enough nor was any guy I wanted to date good enough for me. 

I was supposed to have my spiritual, emotional, and financial life in order. I was supposed to be perfect and not have any bad habits at all. 

I also was taught that God was supposed to be my mate. If I have Him, I wouldn't ever be lonely. This worked for me for a long time. I was very content, and for the most part I am content but now feel society's pressure to get married.

About Contentment

I know the Bible says we should be content in any situation, and this includes if we're single or if we're married. We should also not go looking for a mate if we don't have one and vice-versa. God is supposed to make it happen without much effort on our part -- at least not with the meeting part of finding someone. It'll just happen when it happens. 

Why isn't Being Single Enough?

We're supposed to be happy whether single or married. However, I've been noticing lately that being single isn't enough. Does that mean I'm not content? 

No, I don't think so. I think I can be happy but yet still long for a lifetime companion. I mean, if we didn't know we wanted to be with someone, we would never know if we're ready to get married. 

I for a long time conquered loneliness as a single person by spending time with God. I also surrounded myself with believers in Christ who I would pray with and study the Bible with, and sometimes we'd go out and have fun. 

However, that's tougher to do now that almost everyone I know is married or in a serious relationship. Therefore, it seems more and more as if being single just isn't enough.

Can We Be Happy With Just God and No Mate?

We can be happy with just God and not being married as long as we realize God is not just a substitute for a mate. We can't just be close to Him and act like we don't need him once we meet "the one." 

That's almost like when a person you really like hangs around you only until someone new comes along. God is love, not a substitute for a mate. We need both if we ever want to get married and have a successful relationship. 

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